lost a daughter

My oldest daughter, Cindi was killed in a tractor trailer wreck on 5-11-2016. she was 44 . she was really my step daughter but I hate using the term "step" I consider all my kids, mine. She was the first one in my new family to stop calling me by my name and started calling me Papa" . I cant tell you what a hurt and empty feeling it is for me and my wife. now just this pass week we loss my daughter inlaw Le Ann. She is buried now at the same place my wife Rose of over thirty two years , and Cindi, and where I am to be , and my current wife is to be buried. It really makes you think deep, how to reconnect to love ones that are still here without bugging them. Some of my family has made it plain to me they really don't care to share their life with me and don't want me sharing mine with them. So I don't know how to handle this as I really love them and miss seeing them, but can't go see them as they get mad when I show up. I guess I am worse a person than I thought I was. I will try praying and see if God cares enough to fix .