seeming aggravated

 I met Donna as she was backing towards the garage, she looks at me with a surprised look on her face and I say "Let's go" she says "where?"  (seeming aggravated). I say to planet fitness, the special we have been waiting for expires tomorrow so lets go right now. Then I see the storm clouds gathering in the car. Long story short, she refuses to go, says she hurts to bad and will join once she feels better and that I am harassing her about it. I say you agreed to go with me and work your upper body, it will help you lose weight and your knees will feel better, but if you are not going to go like you agreed, ok,I have heard all this from you before but I want you to know you let me down and I am disappointed in you , but never mind then, I still love you. She says "I don't love myself right now or anymore", I ask what happened to you? You have a bad day? She says "I always have a bad day at work since they changed everything" 

   Once in the house she lays down in bed, I go to living room and think to myself, I am not going in there and she can just cry or pout, whatever. I get me something quick to eat and about 1 1/2 hrs later I see her cooking peppers and onions for her supper. The rest of the night is quiet between us. 

  I can't make her, if she won't help herself I am not going to say " that's ok, poor baby"

 I don't mean to burden you with this. What will be will be, I do what I think I can and leave the rest to her, I offer , if she don't accept or want, I feel blameless , I know I have done everything I can. One thing has changed in my mind since last night, she can get up and move and do for herself from now on. I will not wait on her so much thinking I am helping her to stay off her knees, from now on she can move more and maybe strengthen them. If she hurts more , not my fault, maybe it will motivate her. I try to be supportive but if she now accuses me of pressuring her to do the right thing, I will not mention the gym again. Just sit in your chair or go to your room to sew, sit around all the time, stay fat , do what you want, I am going to do what I want too! 

                 Time for the second cup of coffee and I need to go across the street to Steve's pool and clean the filter basket and get his paper in as him and his wife took a trip with seniors on a bus to Kentucky to see where a  guy built Noah's ark. 

                                Sorry I don't have any uplifting things to write but I know you understand that life goes like this sometime despite your best efforts.          

where is the nearest foodstamp office.

Hi again, 

    So I go to take my new resonator to my local trusted guitar man that owns his on shop, but when I get there he is closed. A big note on his door say he won't be back till the 18Th . Arggggg !!!! So I remember another place , go there and it's for music and voice lessons... u turn in the parking lot. Wait, i remember one more I spied a while back, drive over and it's open. Yaa ! I go in and the owner only has one arm. I kid you not, so I think to myself, what do I do? Do I ask anyway but that might embarrass him or make me look cruel. I ask another customer I followed into the parking lot, He is 83 and has bad arthritis but takes a look and talks of the one he had that was very costly but sold it. He said mine was the worse he ever played.  I think " what the hell" so I go in store and ask if he would take a look at my new toy and see if it's worth the money or it's ok since I can't make it sound right. He says sure bring it in. I do and he puts it on a stand to hold it on his counter top, strums and says did you tune it? I said yes, he said how? I said like a regular guitar. He says no you have to tune these to a drop down D ,or a D, or a G. I say now you know how much I know. He tunes it to a open d chord. So when you strum it , just plays a D major chord, then with one arm and quick and nimble fingers, this greasy, long unkept hair man with 3 days growth of beard starts playing it explaining what he is doing very fast and way over my head. Now I know it's ok, it's worth way more than I paid for it he tells me, and he knows they are good instruments. Forget what the old guy said as he only owns top of the line stuff that most people can't afford. I buy a glass slide for my finger so I think it will be better than the 5/8 deepwell socket  from my tool box I was using.( hey it was a snapon) I come home, watch some videos, I am now encouraged. I can play a little , very little , but it's a start. something like delta nigger blues. Oh yeah, I can feel the black part of me wanting to come out  and start swaying back and forth repeating the same lyrics like they do...I got the blues, the mean old woman blues... I got to get into this, maybe I will learn . Now where is the nearest foodstamp office.....

untalented who wishes he was.

yes, I finally have my resonator guitar. I had a lot of fun waiting on it and opening the boxes it came it. It is nice looking and the only guitar I have with F holes instead of the usual round sound hole on the middle. It is heavy, made of bell brass. I am disappointed it doesn't play itself as I cannot. I tried to do the slide thing people make look so easy and I can't get it. I can play it regular style, it has a very unusual sound being all metal except for the neck. It does remind me of very old music. It may have it's uses on different types of songs. I am keeping it as I think it looks so different than most guitars, I am taking it to my local guitar shop this morn and get him to play it for me so I will know the sounds are in there, I just have to try and get them out if I don't tire of trying and give up.

 I also think it might sound good if I have someone playing with me using a regular guitar and see how the sounds mesh together.

I know , people who are really gifted make anything they do look so easy you think you can do that too, till you try for about 15 minutes and feel retarded for even trying.

 Oh well, it didn't cost me thousands, it is different in look and sound and I do have a new toy. Good enough for now.

                     Later on ~ signed your untalented  who wishes he was.

How can I be Duane Eddie with out a guitar?

Yes, I heard the truck outside my home come to a brake squealing stop. I look out my window to see a fedex truck,so Charlie and I go running breakneck speed down the stairs throwing all caution to the wind. A big smile on my face, I say in a joyful voice "It's here, Yea! " to Donna who sits undisturbed in her recliner watching tv. I throw open the door as the man rings the bell only to see a box about one foot square. The smile on my face instantly turns into a furrowed brow asking myself what is this? Did they send me a miniature guitar? Oh no ! No wonder I got such a good price. I feel the anger building in me, what is in this stupid little box where my guitar should be? How can I be Duane Eddie with out a guitar? So into the kitchen I go, Charlie in tow to see what's in the box. I open it to find some pop bubbles ,which I gladly give to Charlie so she can tear and shake and pop them with abandoned. I find a 45 count box of tall garbage bags which I ordered a while back. I try in vain to maintain my happiness by strumming the new bright yellow box, I think , maybe put rubber bands on it? nawww,,,, the smile and happiness is now gone from me, I will wait for the real thing. Losing this battle but not the war, I return upstairs to my mancave and cup of lukewarm coffee to continue my vigil.... more later as the situation develops...

Donna seemed ok

Donna seemed ok when I told her about the new guitar, then she surprised me by saying she was proud of me for actually buying something for myself. Cool! I buy something because the little kid in me wanted it and didn't need it and she acts like I done good thing. Who would have thunk it?  I am like a little kid waiting on Christmas, supplier sent me an email this morning telling me they shipped it and it should be here Monday. This is fun. The best part is anticipating it's arrival. 

That's ok I am getting old also, as yesterday when I was talking to a rep where I bought it online I asked would it sound ok to just strum and do so light finger picking with like John Denver music. He said "WHO?", never heard of him. I said ok how about James Taylor type songs, " I don't think I know him either"  he replied. But then again this doesn't make me old, it makes him ignorant, especially working at a music store, huh? ha ha...

 Oh , I can't say this is for my birthday as I am buying me the newest version Xbox and Oled high def 4k TV to go with it for that. ha ha....(that durn little kid in me made me preorder it)

I hope

I hope Donna doesn't kill me, I just ordered my first guitar off the internet at a big store in NY. ( I'm all excited) I have always been curious of a resonator guitar, I know most people play it with slide but maybe I can pick it like I play. It was on a one day sale and a great buy. Should be here Monday or so. Ha ha... I spent some money on something I don't need !  I just want a new toy. It has a all metal body. I remember seeing and hearing Uncle Clyde's  at his home with Aunt Garnet when Dad took me over there with my first guitar that got caught in our house fire. Dad called it a Hawaiian guitar, this one is oxblood color. 

   Really she will not be mad, I know because we were at a guitar shop awhile back and she just about told me to buy one if I wanted it. Well I saw it on sale and wanted it!  Close enough huh?

 One strum of the Honey Dipper Round-Neck Resonator Guitar transports you back 80 years to a hobo jungle just off the tracks, where wandering workers congregate in camaraderie and the comforting and captivating strains of a real all-metal resonator guitar waft through the smoke of oil-drum fires and enchant the ears with a sound like raindrops beating on a rusty pump house roof. 

The very sound and look of this fine Gretsch creation will make you want to free yourself from the damning confines of your office, your cubicle or whatever it is that enslaves you and hop the next train to anywhere with a smile on your face as big as the sky and a song in your heart. Limited Edition - 300 pcs Worldwide. Case sold separately. 

I can get a case later.Limited edition, ooooohhh... a smile on my face as big as the sky...yeah I like that.

hasn't happened very much

This is a short note to tell you something that hasn't happened very much in my lifetime. I was talking to my brother the other day and after listening to his efforts and problems of trying to get the house he wants, just out of the blue, He tells me I am a good brother. I ask ,"ok what did I do deserve this". He answered , I don't tell you that very often and I should say it more, but you just are, like the other day when you researched and sent me a link in an email where a good tv shop is that sells and installs in the norfolk area. That is what I mean, I told you I didn't know where to go to and didn't want to go to Best Buy and you did this for me. 

    this meant a lot to me. Yup, a good feeling.

Sometimes we go through a dry spell then all the sudden three times in the same week from three different people you hear how much you mean to them , or you are a good person.  I am blessed.

       By the way, Monday weight in, drum roll please...... Donna lost 2.4lb.... yea ! It's a start. As far as I can tell she is on the program.