Yes, it's nice to have someone who cares and really shows it rather than a "I Love you" lip service. I did a good deed last Friday and helped load a moving trailer for my sister in law. Well the big strong young guy had to work so it left me and a 45 year old little fellow to load including washer and dryer and couch that makes into bed among everything else she owned. We got it all done and felt ok . Later that evening I went to hug my daughter who was sitting and when I straightened up I had a sharp pain shoot up my right side back. Next day my lower back was killing me, so heat pad, laid around didn't do anything, and was by myself for that day and Sunday also. Sunday it hurt even worse.. Took pain pills I had stashed away, heat pad again. Monday the wife came home from a trip so I went to chiropractor for first time. Got home and after 200$ bill now I can't hardly move.
My wife really came thru. After traveling for days, and I know she was beat, she cooked dinner for me, and later when I couldn't take off my pants cause I couldn't bend to reach them, she came and undressed me. Next morning she dressed me. As she was leaving for work she told me she would go out for lunch and don't do my usual morning things for her, she was fine, and not to worry about supper tonight we would figure something out.
I am the guy who usually helps and does for others , I am the guy who likes to help and fix things. I can't fix or do for myself right now and it's a funny feeling to have the shoe on the other foot. It is super nice to have someone doing for and helping me during this time. This is love in action. This is love with feet and hands in motion not just saying it but doing it. I can't rightly express how thankful I am. This is the kind of thing I do without thinking twice for others but when it is done for me it seems really funny/weird to have someone helping or doing for me.
I am sorry I couldn't wash her car while she was gone but I simply couldn't move around without pain to do it. She understood.
So today I am on pain pills, muscle rub and using heat for 30 minutes then cold pack 30 minutes and trying to move around a little. I hope I the pain eases soon.
Today I am thankful I have someone who cares and does something about it as she can.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Sunday, December 13, 2015
changing
I'm going to try real hard to change. Let me explain please. I finally made myself go to my grown kids, and at a great risk to what they might say, I told each one individually I missed them, I loved them and know it must be my fault so if they would just tell me outright what the problem is I would try my best to fix it. I never see them unless I go to them and never hear from them unless I contact them. I lost their momma and now I'm losing them and don't know why. Here is what they told me.
The first one said because its always about me. I said I don't understand please explain. So told me I always complain about missing their mom, or I always feel sorry for myself. they were sick of hearing it. They don't want to hear how bad I feel, only talk about current events, something good or just whatever.They still loved me but didn't want to hear about how I feel anymore. I thought sharing my feelings with my own kids that they would try and understand and help me to get better, but I was wrong, They think everybody should keep it to themselves and not share what is bothering them even with closet family. I guess that's why they haven't called or come by in about two years.
I will try to keep it to myself now. I will try to keep things brighter and upbeat. I thought they would feel sorry for me and try to help but it only backfired on me. Funny thing is I like to hear what's bothering someone and I always try to help if I can. I guess I'm the only one who feels this way. Then they said they are busy with jobs and family of their own except for Friday nights when they meet to have a party. I said I understand about raising kids and working but I always drove 28 hours twice a year to be with my folks, they live about 20 minutes away and can't see me even once a year? I don't understand how you can say you love when you don't show it. But I miss them apparently more than they miss me and I will try very hard to never tell them any problems and always be happy around them if that is what it takes. I don't mean to be kissing their ass but I guess sometimes you do what you got to do. I think this is another reminder to me that people no matter who they are don't really care how you are doing. Not just them but other people I know. I have the problem not them. I apparently care more than everyone else, so from now on I will try not to care so deeply and be more light hearted. I am not sure how to achieve this change but I will give it the old collage try.
The first one said because its always about me. I said I don't understand please explain. So told me I always complain about missing their mom, or I always feel sorry for myself. they were sick of hearing it. They don't want to hear how bad I feel, only talk about current events, something good or just whatever.They still loved me but didn't want to hear about how I feel anymore. I thought sharing my feelings with my own kids that they would try and understand and help me to get better, but I was wrong, They think everybody should keep it to themselves and not share what is bothering them even with closet family. I guess that's why they haven't called or come by in about two years.
I will try to keep it to myself now. I will try to keep things brighter and upbeat. I thought they would feel sorry for me and try to help but it only backfired on me. Funny thing is I like to hear what's bothering someone and I always try to help if I can. I guess I'm the only one who feels this way. Then they said they are busy with jobs and family of their own except for Friday nights when they meet to have a party. I said I understand about raising kids and working but I always drove 28 hours twice a year to be with my folks, they live about 20 minutes away and can't see me even once a year? I don't understand how you can say you love when you don't show it. But I miss them apparently more than they miss me and I will try very hard to never tell them any problems and always be happy around them if that is what it takes. I don't mean to be kissing their ass but I guess sometimes you do what you got to do. I think this is another reminder to me that people no matter who they are don't really care how you are doing. Not just them but other people I know. I have the problem not them. I apparently care more than everyone else, so from now on I will try not to care so deeply and be more light hearted. I am not sure how to achieve this change but I will give it the old collage try.
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