Last time I said I put up a humming bird feeder, and you guessed it, still no birds. Very disappointing! It's bright red and everything, wonder if there is any way to attract them ?
I have me a pool table ! It also has a big top to go on it with a net & you can play ping pong. So far no one plays ping pong with me and I am getting tired of trying to run quickly around the table to hit it back to myself.( I must be getting slow in my old age) I think maybe I will wait till I get someone who wants to play to do this.
Two of my granddaughters came over the other day and we played pool! Yaa ! First time I got to play with someone and it was them! We are not any good but we had fun anyway and I think that is what it is all about. I would rather have fun than be good. I like fun.
I don't like feelings. I have way to many and they run way to deep inside me. For example , I did something the other day that was very meaningful and took time to do, and when I shared this, the person acted like they couldn't care less about it,( not my granddaughters by the way) or like they were a zombie, it was nothing to them ,but to me it meant a lot. Sometimes it hurts to have feelings. I can't blame them or say they were mean, they just didn't care about it and it meant so much to me, I thought it would to them too, it is hard to understand something like that when it happens. That's what I mean about feelings. Mine get hurt to easy by people I love and are concerned about. I have never been the type of person to just blow things off or say oh well, who gives a shit anyway? I don't care if you like it or not, I'm only concerned with me , not anyone else. Sometimes I wish I were like that. I remember my first real pastor telling me when I started in the ministry that I had to toughen up and stop wearing my feelings on my shirt sleeve cause someone will tear them off , stop being so caring and loving about people because they will eat you alive and hurt you. That came from a pastor of my church who I highly respected and it really seemed to run across the grain to me, especially coming from a man of God. But maybe he was right and I wouldn't have been hurt so much in my life all the way to the present day. I have always seemed to have a soft heart as my Dad told me once. I love hugging and petting friendly dogs for example. Most people just don't and think , oh well it's just a dumb animal. I know that is not true. they have feelings and have dreams like us. See what I mean . Sometimes I wish I didn't care about anyone, that way I wouldn't be hurt . But also that way I would never feel love and that is the best feeling in the world to me. I like happy. I think you can't have happy without having feelings. If they had hands they would be holding them. The down side is like me , when they get hurt so easy and people blame you for having feelings. Stop caring .Toughen up. Yea , right. I guess I will just keep getting hurt till the day I no longer have any feelings at all in this life.
Uggg, eeww, uck, as I was writing this I put a little fresh hot coffee into my cup besides me and took a sip after blowing on it and it tastes horrible! I look in my cup and see its cream colored! I forgot I still had some hot tea with cream and sugar in it and the mixture is horrible! Nasty ! I have to go pour this out and wash my cup.
Thanks for reading, see ya around, Peace.
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