Hello out there ,or in there as the case may be.
I am writing again due to a response from someone I have known all their life and love and respect very much. They suggested I should keep writing even if nobody reads this as it should help me to "vent" even if nobody knows I'm doing it. That way I'm not bothering anyone with my problems or "ramblings''. I think it's kinda like saying sometimes we all talk to much about what others really don't care to hear or someone is talking to you and you start day dreaming while they are talking and then realize you are and kinda go " oh they are talking to me and I missed what they said , I hope they don't ask me anything about what they said" in your head. You know you have done it too. I have been doing this for another reason, that is to reach out to anyone in hopes someone still cares what I think or what is going on in my life or head. I see her point though. Now with that said, I know I have at least one person who reads these at sometime or another, so I am cheating and writing again for both reasons ! Is there going to be a test one day? If so I might have just failed admitting that! ha ha.
I talked to my only brother ( in another state) and he didn't mention the song I wrote about him so I broke down and asked him if he heard it on youtube or my facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/rob.schwartz.5 ) page, he then told me "well, it's not very flattering" he was upset and didn't like some of what I said in my song I wrote. So I told him, ' Man I love and think enough of you to write you a song , how many other people you know have done that?' Everything is true in the song and a lot of people say so in the comments and enjoyed hearing it. So I say to myself, " wait and see if I write you another song" Boy ,some people! I know it shouldn't have hurt my feelings, but I really thought he would have gotten a kick out of it. I am not a professional and what I have learned in writing or composing or playing guitar I have learned the hard way, just by by doing. But I do like writing and playing them and also sharing with people to see if I can reach a response inside someone. One of my sisters gave me a great compliment by commenting " I have the soul of a poet". I almost cried reading that. One other time another sister told me I touched her in a song about our Dad and she started crying listening to my song. That to me is about the best thing I could do with my attempts at music, to really touch someone somehow.
So ok , maybe I still need approval from somebody every once in awhile and most people say I shouldn't need that. I guess that is a deep seated problem within me I haven't been able to get pass. I have tried but it's hard for me, to like ,ignore what others think about me. If you can, more power to you and I wish I was more like you, I really do, then it wouldn't hurt so much inside me.
I have had a good pass few days, happy most of the time. I have hot coffee and tea, fresh watermelon and strawberries and someone thought enough to make me a peanut butter pie and bring to me "just cause". Life don't get much better than that.
Take care till next time and I appreciate you!
You are a very clever and interesting man. While we don't talk anymore, I am so very glad that you kept up with this over the years. It really warms my heart that you stuck to it. Even if it was only a few times a year. At least you still posted yearly. I could never keep up with it because it was always hard to find the time. I hope that maybe it has helped you in some way, and that you continue to write. I hope you are well, and even though we don't talk, I still love you dearly. Happy writing!
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